Telling vs Asking

In Short

Help leaders shift from directive telling to empowering inquiry
Best for: Coaching stance framework
Telling vs Asking is a structured tool for coaching and facilitation. Help leaders shift from directive telling to empowering inquiry. It provides a repeatable framework that can be adapted to individual, team, and leadership development contexts.
Type of tool: Coaching stance framework
Expected outcomes:
- Improved ability to help leaders shift from directive telling to empowering inquiry
- Improved capacity to what changed in engagement when you moved to asking
- A concrete action or development plan to take forward from the Telling vs Asking process

In Detail

Telling vs Asking is a structured framework designed to help coaches, leaders, and facilitators help leaders shift from directive telling to empowering inquiry. It sits within the category of Coaching stance framework, making it particularly useful for practitioners working on capability development, team performance, and individual growth in organisational settings.

In practice, Telling vs Asking is delivered as a 5-step process. The process begins by introduce the continuum from Telling (directing, instructing) to Asking (inquiring, exploring). The session closes by debrief what changed in engagement when you moved to asking. The structured approach ensures that participants move through a consistent experience while leaving room for the facilitator to adapt pacing and depth to the group's needs.

Telling vs Asking provides a shared vocabulary that persists beyond the session itself. When team members reference the same model in day-to-day work, coaching outcomes become embedded in practice rather than remaining as isolated insights from a single workshop.

How to Use

From Telling vs Asking PDF. 1. Introduce the continuum from Telling (directing, instructing) to Asking (inquiring, exploring). 2. Show how this maps onto the Manager vs Leader distinction. 3. Participants reflect on their current default position in key conversations. 4. Practice moving deliberately to a more asking stance in a live coaching conversation or team scenario. 5. Debrief what changed in engagement when you moved to asking.

Pros and Cons

Pros	Cons
Provides a shared vocabulary that persists after the session and supports ongoing conversations Structured approach ensures consistent application across different cohorts and contexts Directly addresses the challenge of help leaders shift from directive telling to empowering inquiry through a proven conceptual structure	Risk of over-applying the model — not all situations fit neatly into any single framework Conceptual frameworks require skilled facilitation to connect theory to participants' actual work Some models have limited research evidence; practitioners should be transparent about this

Created by CCL / Edgar Schein (Humble Inquiry)

When to Use

This tool is suited to the following coaching and facilitation contexts:

Context	Relevant
Individual Coaching
Team Coaching	✓
Leadership Development	✓
Facilitation / Workshop	✓
Online / Virtual

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